Originally published on April 9, 2010
A number of years ago, I was walking through a very difficult time in my life. Actually, I wasn’t walking, I was barely crawling. One situation had affected my entire life – physically, emotionally and spiritually. I could not think ahead for the next five minutes, much less think about the plans that God had for me for “a hope and future” (Jeremiah 29:11). If the current situation were a part of His plans, I was sure I didn’t want to participate in anything else He might have on His agenda for me.
It was a lonely time. Surrounded by family and friends, I had never felt so alone before that time, or since. There were days when the darkness around me was so oppressive that I could not draw a deep breath. Literally. I could not breathe deeply.
At night, after my children were in bed and family and friends had stopped calling to check on me, I would cry out to God. Why? Where are You? Why did You allow this to happen? What am I going to do?
Do you know the state of not being asleep and yet not fully awake? You are aware of things going on around you, and yet you are not alert enough to pay attention to those things. That is the state I was in when God gave me a vision one night after crying out to Him – again.
The vision was very simple, but profound. I was sitting in God’s lap – just like the children He held in the pictures in the Bible I had when I was a young child. You’ve seen those pictures – Jesus holds one or two children in his lap while other children sit at his feet. In my vision, Jesus was holding me in His lap, but I wasn’t a child. I was a full grown adult. My head rested on his chest and His arms were wrapped around me. Peace and comfort flooded my soul as I realized that I had been in His lap – held by His arms – all this time.
This vision occurred over 18 years ago but I’ve never forgotten it. Sometimes when things get crazy, or I get a little down, the Lord will bring this vision back to my mind. Occasionally, I’ve had the opportunity to share it with someone who’s in the midst of a difficult time.
Yesterday, I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of this vision. The song is “Between Your Shoulders,” sung by Rita Springer. The main lines of the chorus are this: “I’m resting between Your shoulders; I’m resting within Your love.” Immediately, I see myself sitting in the lap of Jesus – resting between His shoulders; resting within His love.” It is, by far, the very best place to be.
© 2010 Edwina E. Cowgill