The strength of God is impossible to see in my life when I try to do things on my own. One would think, after all these years as a Christian, I would know better. But nooooooo……
So what makes me think I can do whatever I need and/or want to do without God’s help?
First, it’s that independent streak in me that’s wider than the Chattahoochee River. I developed this independent streak, which can also be called stubbornness, many years ago. I discovered that many people cannot be depended upon and if I wanted something done, and done correctly, I needed to do it myself. At least if the result was less than what I expected, I had no one to blame but myself. But what if God wanted to have that person perform the task in order to bless them or teach them something? I’ve just robbed that person of God’s blessing, His leading and teaching.
Tied into that independent streak is pride. “Look at me! I did this all by myself!” Proverbs 16:18 says “Pride goes before a fall…” Sometimes whatever I did “all by myself” falls apart and takes my pride with it!
I’m not a patient person, although I’m better than in years past. I will get tired of waiting on others, and on God, to do what I think needs to be done. I do whatever needs to be done, only to realize that it’s all wrong. I’ve moved ahead of God and royally messed up.
Then I come to the more serious spiritual issue of trust – or the lack thereof. Do I really believe that I cannot trust God, whose thoughts and ways are far better than anything I could ever imagine? This is not to say that I don’t trust God at all, ever. He has brought me through too many situations over the years and proven Himself strong on my behalf more times than I can remember. Maybe I should call my problem “selective trust.” In some situations, I trust Him, but in others, I don’t. Why? There are times I don’t have the faith or trust to believe in miracles. For example, when I hear of someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, and is already past Stage One, I have a hard time believing they will be healed. I pray for their healing, but my practical side raises up and points out the “reality” of the situation to me. I allow myself to be swayed by the doctor’s diagnosis and comments, other people’s opinions, my own very small amount of knowledge. I never fully look to the Healer with trust in His healing abilities.
My practical side really causes me problems when it comes to trusting God. It prevents me from believing for healing, finances, etc., for others and for me.
As I typed this blog, I remembered a wonderful old hymn we sang in the Baptist church where I grew up called “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus.”
‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
and to know, “Thus saith the Lord.”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I’ve proved him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!
2. O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to trust his cleansing blood;
and in simple faith to plunge me
neath the healing, cleansing flood!
3. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
just from sin and self to cease;
just from Jesus simply taking
life and rest, and joy and peace.
4. I’m so glad I learned to trust thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.
I must admit that remembering these words and singing through this song has made me ashamed of my lack of trust in God. Starting today, I will trust Him more!
Abba Father, I ask that you forgive me for the times when I’ve not trusted in You, but moved ahead of You to do what I thought was needed. Forgive me for my impatience and for my lack of dependence on You. I ask that You give me “grace to trust You more.” Please allow my trust in You to be a witness to others. I ask this in Your most precious and holy name, Amen.
What about you? Are you having trust issues today? Or perhaps you can offer others your experiences on increasing your trust. Please feel free to leave a comment!